Thankul Thanksgiving

As I sti here and reflect on what to be thankful for…

The phone rang.

and of course it was her.

Do I answer?

Yes. I answer and then

I hung up.

Why is it that she can just up and call me just because its THANKSGIVING.

A day that we are suppose to be thankful for everything and everyone.

But seeing her name on the caller ID made my blood boil, and I felt the tears building up…

She cant do that. She cant think that just because its a holiday she can call me say thanksgiving, tell me how much she loves me, and then act as if nothing happened. Its wrong.

What goes thru her head? I just dont get it.

And then I instantly regretted hanging up. I wanted to tell her how awful she was. How she ruined my childhood. How she cant keep doing this to me. Bringing me back to this dark, awful, cold place. A place of hate of anger. I wanted to tell her all the awful things that shes said to me. Only…

I know what would happen. She would get upset. She wouldnt listen. She would get angry with me. And then she would drink. And it would be all my fault. She would blame me the next time she saw me with those piercing evil eyes.

So its better I dont answer. Its better I dont tell her anything. Its better that I just dont bother.

I am thankful for my amazing husband who keeps me grounded. And my amazing father who has been my rock and my best friend in my early on years… And he still is πŸ™‚

Did I mention I love to sew? I am thankful that I am learning to sew and want to sew.
Did I mention I love to sew? I am thankful that I am learning to sew and want to sew.

I am also thankful I didnt leave the giblets, or the neck in the turkey this year.

I am thankful for the internet and the ability read instructions.
I am thankful for the internet and the ability read instructions.

I am thankful I am able to move forward, and leave the past and the negativity in the past.

I am thankful for sewing, and my patience to sit for LONG periods of time.
I am thankful for sewing, and my patience to sit for LONG periods of time.

I am thankful that my dog likes beer.

:)
Mac has problems πŸ™‚

I forgot to mention I am thankful that I lived to be 27 years young. Heres to another 73 I hope…

What are you thankful for?

One thought on “Thankul Thanksgiving

  1. My heart hurts for you, hugs,hugs,hugs to you. You have so many loving people in your life,yet will always miss the loving Mom you need and deserve. We all need and deserve, and We, ourselves, try to be a good and loving Mom to Our children. You are a shining light in so many of our
    Lives and our love and pride in loving you will hopefully bolster your steadfastness in living your loving life, despite the parent that continues to
    Disrupt your life. Know how special we think You are, You are loved and
    Appreciated! Luv you sweetie!

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