A whirlwind of business…

5:30 morning phone calls that boil my blood

sewing

sewing

and more sewing

I will elaborate on my fun 5:30 am phone call. Everyone wants that phone call. You want that phone tell, let me tell you. It starts your morning out with a bang.

6 Qaspeqs

in

6 days! Was fun and fun! Tiring but fun!

They turned out amazing!

Miss Megan Leary is representing our Kuskokwim region as I type!

Check out my handy dandy work! These qaspeqs were beautiful and I had a good time sewing them!

Hope you enjoy my work!

A natural Miss WEIO
A natural Miss WEIO
Purple and Green Qaspeq
Purple and Green Qaspeq
Miss WEIO posing after I rudely woke her up and made her put on her qaspeqs
Miss WEIO posing after I rudely woke her up and made her put on her qaspeqs
Red in full form :) this one turned out really nice!
Red in full form ๐Ÿ™‚ this one turned out really nice!
The whole package
The whole package
Lined hoods and all
Lined hoods and all
This red qaspeq turned out so nice!
This red qaspeq turned out so nice!
Gray qaspeq for Miss WEIO
Gray qaspeq for Miss WEIO
Loved the gold accent on this gal
Loved the gold accent on this gal
Red qaspeq with the fun trimming
Red qaspeq with the fun trimming

 

My handy dandy hood work
My handy dandy hood work
Love the purples and greens
Love the purples and greens
Miss WEIO sporting her gray qaspeq
Miss WEIO sporting her gray qaspeq
Miss WEIO sporting her sporty blue
Miss WEIO sporting her sporty blue

 

5:30 phone calls cant bring me down as long as I keep pushing.

5:30 comes and goes everyday twice a day and I remind myself I am better than that. I am better than her. I am a stronger person. I dont deserve to be rudely awakened at 5:30 am to be cussed out and called all sorts of nasty names at such an early hour. I am a better and stronger person.

 

Ring, ring

Its 5:30 wake up.

Ring, ring

Hurry its 5:30 wake up

Oh, must be important.

5:30 wake up calls are unusual.

Oh, wait am I 7 again? or 10? or 14?

I remember those awful calls.

Dad unplugging the phone.

Me unplugging the phone.

Who else would be waking me at an ungodly hour.

Ring, ring.

Maybe if I ignore it she will hang up.

Nope

On comes the answering machine

and there it is

that

dreadful

awful

voice

its her…ย 

My blood is boiling, the tears are swelling, and the assholes, bitches, mother effer’s come out

its 5:30 why not

lets start the morning off right.

Nothing but F you’s and you stupid B’s and all that jazz.

5:30

Oh how I hate you

I hate those memories

those horrible tired mornings

You stupid B just rot in hell please and leave me be

Because 5:30 comes and goes

but her

shes always there

waiting for the next morning to

call

harrass

and

ruin

my

life

one

day

at

a

 

time.

 

Thanks mom!

 

Did I mention that I hate you.. Yup, sure do.

So bring it on 5:30 I’ll be ready.

 

Its nights like…

Its nights like these where,

I wonder if anything is ever going to get better…

Its nights like these where,

I wonder if I am ever going to be able to move forward with my life…

Its nights like these where,

I wonder when its going to stop, the calls, the texts, the anger, the hatred…

Angerness fills my soul in moments like these,

Its moments like these where I want to just want to run away…

Run away from her.

Run away from the anger, and the sadness.

Tiring.

Tiring to have these feelings and emotions day after day, night after night.

I feel like I am breaking into a million pieces, and never have the chance to be put together.

Hatred text messages dont solve the problem.

Telling someone you hate them over, and over again doesnt solve the problem.

Telling yourself you are over her and dont need her wont solve the problem.

Nothing will ever solve the problem,

until

she

is

gone

for

good

Until then, I guess I can be fine.

Just fine.