As I was sharing around resources to my friends and family for various areas of need I thought why not share them with all of you.
This first micro grant is with the Division of Agriculture for the Food Security program. I just applied because I have been wanting to put a fish camp in my backyard and if I receive the funding that would be covered by the micro grant. There are many other areas in which you could apply the funding. Check out the link HERE.
The Alaska Housing Finance Corporation is hosting another ground of applications for their rent relief and homeowners assistance. Check this LINK to see if you qualify for their application. I don’t believe that my household qualifies but I was checking anyways.
Check out the Emergency Broadband Benefit to see if you qualify for assistance with your broadband services. Check out the link HERE.
Go to your local library and sign up for a library card. I believe if you don’t have a library you can choose the nearest library and sign up through them. Once you’ve signed up you can go download the Libby App. Input your library card and you can listen to audio books for free if your library carries then and then you can also download books to read on your phone. I believe you have a week to listen to the audiobook or read the book on your phone but it is pretty neat. And honestly I don’t know what else it can do I just downloaded it today and started listening to Michelle Obama’s audiobook so I am still learning.
We also discovered our local library Soldotna Library is giving out free seeds to start your gardens. Check out this Facebook post for more information if you are in the Soldotna area. We picked out our five packets and we are going to try our hand at that green thumb again. Every year we yield a few more peas, and a couple strawberries but I would like to try and see if we can get more than 6 peas and 4 strawberries.
And if you are an artist check out Cerf+ The Artists Safety Net. They provide artist relief grants and you don’t want to miss out on applying. Check out their website HERE.
And please if you know of any other resources please share in the comments.
Quyana Chuck Norris!
Here is a recent photo when we were flying to Anchorage from Bethel.
Being a school nurse during this difficult time has been unbearable at times to the point that I am breaking into a million pieces.
I cherish my times with the students and generally love every aspect of being a school nurse. But now it has been so hard that I get physically sick to my stomach every morning when I drive to the school. Being yelled at daily is normal. Most times its more than once.
It is all out of my control.
I don’t have control over the school policies. I am not making up any nilly willy rules just because it’s fun and I feel like it. I want students in school just as much as the parents. We all saw how last year students suffered mentally and emotionally because they were not socializing. It was tough. For every single one of us and some more than others who have lost a family member, friend, coworker. I get it. I too have lost family members to COVID related illnesses and it sucks.
It is not hard to be kind. It is not hard to be empathic or sympathetic. We are all doing our best. Most days I am prepared to be yelled at and that is the shittiest feeling in the world. But today is not one of those days.
So please be kind. It’s not hard. And I hope that you can find joy. Life is too short to be angry.
Fun mommyhood tips just because. My stinker is 8 months and my life has turned upside down for the better. I would not change it for a thing but goodness gracious sometimes I just have to have that third cup of coffee, put Moana first thing in the morning or maybe three times throughout the day just so I can use the bathroom, maybe eat if I remember, or guzzle three water bottles down. Mommyhood is fun but crazy. The last two nights I have lost sleep because of teething and I feel like a crazy person. And in my crazed state I was thinking about all the things I have to do on a day to day basis to survive. These are my tips and I hope you enjoy them!
Its okay if you have to put on Little Baby Bums on or Moana on in the morning so you can make that cup of coffee, sip it in peace, or use the bathroom alone. I usually try not to put a show on till the afternoon or evening but somedays its the first thing in the morning just so I can make a cup of coffee, and then sip it while its hot. Its okay your not a bad mom if you have to do it.
Binky or no binky its up to you. Dont listen to people when they tell you that your child shouldnt use a pacifier. You know your child better than anyone else and if your baby likes the binky then let em. Before Syd I said I wouldnt give my baby a binky but then I had her and she likes the binky and it helped her go to sleep. And I had to do what I had to do to survive.
If you have had puke in your hair for three days just put a headband on it and call it good. No one will notice or smell it unless its the sour kind of puke.
If you can only shower once a week just change your underwear if you remember.
Dirty clothes. Put them right in the washer if you have one. And if you start the washer try and remember to change them to the dryer so you dont have to re-wash them.
Co-sleep. Crib. Do whatever works for you. Since day one my stinker has been in bed with me. I had to do what I had to do to survive and she was feeding every 2 hours and if she was in a crib I would not have been able to function in the morning. And now that shes teething shes feeding all through the night. IF you do co-sleep dont forget to cut their nails. Its the worst when they’re sleeping next to you and then they scratch you with their long toenails or long fingernails haha!
Some days you will feel soo flipping crazy its not even funny. You will have crazy thoughts. And just feel horrible. Get outside. DO something to get you out of that funk because if not you will go down that rabbit hole of misery.
When you’re so sleep deprived and your baby is crying all night you might get upset with her. Just remember its not their fault. Try and take a deep breathe. Its easier said then done but just know that you’re not alone. Many mothers have had those same exact thoughts and feelings. It makes me feel better knowing that there are other mothers out there who have felt this same exact way.
Drink water. And lots of it. Especially if your breastfeeding. I got a super duper extra large water bottle so I could remember to drink water. Some days I remember and other days I have a pounding headache because I havent drank any.
Get an instant pot because it will save your life. Almost all of my meals have been cooked in the instant pot and it has saved my grumbling belly. And make enough for leftovers. Or have really awesome friends who will make you meals and deliver them to you. Last semester I lost weight because I wasnt eating. I had homework. I was stressed. Was taking care of Syd by myself. And when I had free time I would sew because it saved me from going crazy.
Have a Jenine. She saves me somedays well most days from going crazy. My husband works away from home and every 2 weeks its just me and baby. Jenine is always there when I need to talk to a real person. I can text her whenever and I dont have to bother my husband at work. Have a Jenine because it be can really helpful.
Try and get out of the house once a day even if its just a short 5 minute walk. It’s helpful. Trust me.
Dont buy them a ton of toys. All they want to play with is empty water bottles, the outlets, empty paper towel rolls, and cardboard boxes.
If your stinker is teething try everything. If it doesnt work try it one more time. If it still doesnt work then you got lucky and have one tough cookie. Lets hope that you are tougher than your stinker and remind yourself that it is only temporary and you can do it. With Syd I have tried an amber necklace, frozen wash cloths, pressing on her gums, numerous teething toys, lavender oil, clove oil, oragel, toughing it out, and frozen moose jerky which worked for a time until she got sick of it haha. And tylenol worked but I didnt want to give it to her all the time because I felt like I was over-drugging her with it.
My baby girl is one of the toughest sleep fighters I have ever met. I dont know how I got so lucky but instead of getting upset I just take it one nap at a time. Some nights she gets to sleep at a reasonable hour some nights shes up till 11. We are trying to follow a nightly routine but some days I am so exhausted and can barely take care of myself we skip it.
Sleep regressions are real. I dont know when or why they happen but they suck. Syd use to sleep awesome through the night and then hit one of those damn sleep regressions and she has been stuck in it ever since. And again I just remind myself that this sleep deprivation is only temporary.
Just go with the sleep regressions. Its too tough to fight them and try and get them on a schedule. Trust me.
Get used to using the bathroom with your stinker ALLLLL the time unless they’re sleeping. Bring toes to the bathroom so they’re not pulling at your pants or sweats. And if your stinker is mobile you might want to get those handy dandy cupboard locks because they are going to pulling at them the whole time haha.
When people tell me I have a cute little boy I just agree. I dont correct them and tell them that she is a girl even if she is wearing a camo fleece suit and a pink hat. Its not worth it to correct them because usually they apologize and maybe feel bad but its just not worth it.
Hold them too much because they are only little once. It goes by way too fast. Way too fast. You cant spoil a child with too much love.
Be patient. Dont forget about your husband, boyfriend, partner. Get a babysitter and take your husband out for pizza and beer. Pamper yourself if you cant do it once a week try once a month.
And most importantly take care of yourself because if you are starving, thirsty, sleep deprived, and then having to take care of your stinker it is not a fun combination. She can cry just its good for her. As long as she is fed, and has a clean diaper she’s okay.
Its been so fun being Syd’s mom. Some days I feel like a bad mom because I let her watch Moana twice but then I remind myself that I could be doing something worse like getting drunk. I am learning to navigate this mommyhood and it has taught me to be flexible, patient, and super duper extra loving. If you have any fun mommyhood tips I would love to hear what has helped you 🙂
I hope you enjoyed these!
And Syd says Hi! 🙂
And if you are thinking of nursing school do it before you have kids. Because holy cats in the hat it is crazy with a little stinker 🙂 But it is sooo worth it! We start third semester in less then 2 weeks and I know it is going to get unbearably tough but I know I can do it because its only 120 days of madness!
The cycle ends with me. I choose to stop the cycle. The cycle of generational trauma is on repeat. And WE need to do something to stop the cycle. Not the government. Not the schools. Not the tribal councils. But WE as a family. Community. It has to start in our homes. Aunties and uncles homes. Friends homes. And it needs to happen sooner than later before we continue to lose more of our family members to alcohol, drugs, suicide, domestic violence, and so much more.
As an adult child of an alcoholic, everyday is a battle. But I am dealing with it the best way I know how. It may not be the right way but it is the only way I know, and for now it has been working. For now. Growing up I never wanted to seek help because I thought I had it covered. I kept telling myself I was fine and nothing was wrong with me. It wasn’t until my later adult years I realized I wasn’t fine. I wasn’t okay. Something was wrong with me and I couldn’t figure it out. I was an angry kid, angry teenager, and it carried into my early adult years. I refused to deal with my emotions and I turned to alcohol and chew. But then there was a turning moment in my early 20s when I realized I didn’t want to be anything like her. And that’s when I knew. I knew that the cycle would end with me. I will refuse to be an alcoholic parent. I will refuse to be a verbally abusive parent. I will refuse to make my children live in fear, every single damn day of their lives.
I know that when the time comes for me to be a mother I will never, ever, ever put my children thru what I was put thru as a child, teen, adult. No child should ever have to hear those words, be treated with such hate and anger, or live in a constant state of fear. No child should ever have to put a restraining order on their parent. No child should ever have to be scarred for life for the hateful words that were spewed in a drunken screaming match.
But.
I am not bitter. Angry. Hateful. Sad. I do not feel like I am a victim. I am grateful. I am grateful for the person I am today. I am motivated, and determined. I have a raging desire to find my pursuit of happiness every single damn day. My childhood was a mess. But as an adult I have a choice to dwell in the past or make the best of every day. I choose to make the best of everyday. I choose to smile. Laugh uncontrollably. Cry when I feel a wave of emotions overcome my body. I am not ashamed anymore to show my emotions. They have been in hiding for 20 years. No more hiding.
So please.
Choose the path that is right for you. But please do not continue the cycle of abuse. You can stop it for your generations to follow. Think of your children. Grandchildren. Great-grandchildren. But mostly for yourself. Because in the end you have to live with yourself. Your mind, body, and soul every single day and you have to be healthy for you. Not for anyone else, but yourself.
I refuse to allow anyone’s negativity affect my life in anyway. No more. I wont do it.
Growing up with an abusive alcoholic mother was horrible. Ridiculous. Awful. Sickening. Devastating. Depressing. & Humiliating.
Everyday is still a struggle. But I choose to put a smile on my face, and put one foot in front of the other.
Moving away from home was the best thing for my recovery. Recovery from an abusive, horrible, awful mother who was verbally abusive for the last 20+ years.
I am an adult child of an alcoholic parent. On the inside I am hurting. Hurting a lot. But it gets better as each day passes. I am getting better, or trying to get better.
I am comfortable in telling my story. I don’t break down in tears anymore. And I can laugh about, even if its not funny. Humor is a good thing and I chuckle to myself thinking it hasn’t been an easy road to get where I am today.
I am thankful that I can share my story. Because growing up with a parent who constantly called you a fucking cunt, or a bitch. Or tell you to go spread your legs so other men can fuck you isn’t normal. And its not right. And just because she was in an alcoholic state doesn’t give her an excuse.
Alcoholism is an addiction. Yes. But name-calling isn’t an addiction. It is a choice one makes. And let me tell you from experience those words will never go away. Never. Those words will forever be ingrained my in mind, and I have never been able to forget them. Sometimes I can just hear them echoing in my mind and it makes me sick to my stomach.
I can remember the first time my mom started calling me all those awful names that your parents tell you not to say. I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked. How? I was only a little girl. Why? Why me? I didn’t understand. And then it never stopped the name calling just got worse. And I got used to it. Until I got bigger and started sticking up for myself.
I deal with my mother the best way that I know. And I wholeheartedly choose to separate myself from her. It is my choice and not anyone else’s. Please don’t tell me how you think I should deal with it. Because if you haven’t been in my situation, or a similar situation where your mother was screaming obscenities at you, and trying to fight you then you don’t know what its like.
I am learning how deal. So please just allow me to deal with it the best possible way I know how. I am doing my best.
I have started gathering spruce tips, dandelion flowers, devils club and am going to attempt to make salves, teas, tinctures, and much more. I am saving this recipe for when the spruce tips have infused in the oil for at least month and then I will make some salve 🙂
A Recipe for Spruce oil, a fragrant, medicinal cough and chest rub. Tree oleoresins and oleogumresins are full of healing phytochemicals, often discarded in favour of their more well-known and popu…
Lets just say it was a busy busy December with sewing, sewing and more sewing!
Because homemade gifts are the best it was a busy sewing month. Frozen quilts. Christmas qaspeq vests. And just call me the crazy bag lady it was a busy month of bag making.
I have decided to move forward and start my own sewing business. Coming up with the business name was tough but I nailed it down to Sew Yup’ik.
It was a frozen themed Christmas sewing of gifts.
Nothing like matching qaspeq vests to bring on the new year!
With each changing season the cup cozies must change too 🙂
These were two orders matching qaspeq set for two lucky girls, and bags for a happy customer.
I wanted to have fancy fun colors for the new set of fish bags.
Like I said another Frozen themed Christmas sewing. I have one quilt left to sew!
These were created for a special someone who I hold close to my heart. Yes, one slipper says Dick they are for the great Dick Newton of Takotna.
Because I work full time and am a full time student along with step mother, and wife its a busy life for me so an assembly line is how I work.
My husband suggested I sport a new bag since I am a walking advertisement anyway so I had to upgrade my look. 🙂
Step by step I make progress and am working with new designs and new bag layouts for fun!
This was a wall hanging that I worked out with the help of a few ladies. This was not easy but it turned out awesome because I love bright colors and it had to be an old school skandic or elan snogo 🙂
Im playing with fun designs for new qaspeq looks and this was one of them.
This was the set I Just finished last night.
Another batch of bags.
My name business name! I love it and cant wait to sport my clothes with this awesome logo!
Another order done.
I had fun making these I love pastel fun colors.
My poor husband has been so patient with me this is one of his slipper tops. I have finally finished the other side and will add the beaver on this evening! I will have an updated set to load hopefully in my next post!
Lets just say its been a busy month. With the new year approaching I am so thankful for my amazing supportive family and my obsessive personality to never sit down and rest and to always keep busy.
May your new year bring on happiness, good cheer, and all smiles!
Lets just say I was a sewing mean machine and no one was getting in my way.
You ready…
My first upcycled snow skirt from an existing snow skirt.
A set of bags for a wonderful neighbor.
The bubbles were placed in a very strange place, but I love it! The bubbles are going up, not down 😉
My lovely teacher Jeanne! Shes amazing!
Owl organizer, and owl heating pad.
Showing off the hot pink waistband!
My weekend of sewing action. This is no distractions, and just a sewing fool. Sweater skirt with the arms for leggings, recycled carhart pants that didnt fit my step son, 2 snow skirts from one with hot new designs, ipad cover, owl organizer, owl heating pad, and many many bags!
Love this!
Hot pink in action!
My mentor, adopted mother, friend! Couldnt have done this without her!
This was one weekend of some serious sewing! I joined a sewing guild here in my hometown and I think it has released a beast in me! But I love it!
I cant wait to whip out more things! The owl heating pads are going to make great gifts, and those owl organizers are great for sewers!
BUT!
How the heck can one get excited for Christmas when its 40 degrees and raining?! UGH! Small world problems, I guess I should just be grateful, right….
Anyways! Enjoy! Its November 13th and we are nearing to a new year, a new leaf, and a new sewing machine maybe! 🙂
Happy Thirsty Thursday for those of YOU that celebrate 😉
Welcome to the life of Sew Yupik 