I am starting a new chapter in my life and I am on a path to a healthy lifestyle, fitness, and to get in shape!
Tired of feeling exhausted? No energy? No motivation?
If any of this sounds like you then you might benefit from this product.
If you are interested please contact me. I have many friends who have started the product and have not turned around! Weight loss, more energy, healthier skin, and much more! I will start blogging regularly on my progess with the product!
Check out my website if any of this interests you!
BUT I was able to squeeze in a fur hat, and a new bag pattern with more techniques.
It was filled with pain, and mass amounts of anger just from ONE phone call from my mother… Its amazing how one phone call can bring you back to a bad place… Brings back awful memories where you just want to punch a hole in the wall… Scream at the top of your lungs until you cant breathe… Its ridiculous… I will have to elaborate on this at a later date.
For now, here are my awesome projects!
AND I am in the process of making a fish skin bag! Heres a sneak preview!
Peytons malaggayaqSide one of my bag (6) fat quarter bagSide two of (6) fat quarter bagStep one cut and pull of fish skin from body. Removing fins are optional. If fish is fresh fins are good for decoration.Removing the fish skin
We have only one life to live and we must take chances and live on the edge. Because in the end what do we have to show for ourselves?
Our diplomas?
Our certificates?
What…
What do you have to show for? What are you proud of?
I know for myself I am proud that I have the ability to create things for myself, family and friends.
I appreciate homemade items.
I enjoy the simple things in life. Like when AC has a special type of creamer. Or a balmy 32 degree evening walk with my pooch. Enjoying a nice conversation with my step-son.
I am realizing that I need to slow down. Relax. Breathe. Take care of myself so that I can care for others. With my awful need to constantly clean I am able to pull back a tad and not worry about a dirty dish on the counter, or dirty socks under the coffee table. These are small things that shouldnt equal a big reaction.
Take time out each day and dedicate it to yourself. Take deep long breaths. Do what you love even if others dont approve because its your life. And be awesome!
Christmas came and went. Presents in and out. Smiles and tears. Mostly tears.
December 23rd I lost another awesome uncle. My uncle Hank was a great man. A twinkle in his eye. A great big smile that never failed to put a smile on your face.
Although I am saddened his presence is missing. I am grateful for the time that I spent with him. I smile looking back on the time spent with Uncle Hank a few months ago. Although I saw him only at funerals, anniversaries, and weddings each moment I treasure.
Thank you Uncle Hank for making me laugh. Thanks for being awesome. Silly. Loving. And caring.
You will be missed greatly.
Me, auntie Diane, Uncle Hank. Rest in peace Uncle
This has been a tough year for my families. I have lost another family member which leaves a wide open space of nothing. I look back and I smile for all the happy memories with my cousin, brother, friend Nick. Nick was one of a kind. He was quiet, Â caring, and loving. He had a heart of gold. He went above and beyond for family, friends, and strangers. I am going to miss his laughter. One of my favorite memories was when Nick snuck me, Tina, and Alan out of our fishcamp to go fishing at 2 am. We went to one of the abandoned barges, and jammed out to KYUK 640 am and fished till the wee hours of the morning. So carefree and awesome Nick was. I am going to miss you Nick.Â
Fishcamp days. Nick, me and my brother. Miss you always Nick.
Life is too short. Never miss a moment to tell loved ones you love them. Life is unpredicable. Live every moment to its full potential.
As I sti here and reflect on what to be thankful for…
The phone rang.
and of course it was her.
Do I answer?
Yes. I answer and then
I hung up.
Why is it that she can just up and call me just because its THANKSGIVING.
A day that we are suppose to be thankful for everything and everyone.
But seeing her name on the caller ID made my blood boil, and I felt the tears building up…
She cant do that. She cant think that just because its a holiday she can call me say thanksgiving, tell me how much she loves me, and then act as if nothing happened. Its wrong.
What goes thru her head? I just dont get it.
And then I instantly regretted hanging up. I wanted to tell her how awful she was. How she ruined my childhood. How she cant keep doing this to me. Bringing me back to this dark, awful, cold place. A place of hate of anger. I wanted to tell her all the awful things that shes said to me. Only…
I know what would happen. She would get upset. She wouldnt listen. She would get angry with me. And then she would drink. And it would be all my fault. She would blame me the next time she saw me with those piercing evil eyes.
So its better I dont answer. Its better I dont tell her anything. Its better that I just dont bother.
I am thankful for my amazing husband who keeps me grounded. And my amazing father who has been my rock and my best friend in my early on years… And he still is 🙂
Did I mention I love to sew? I am thankful that I am learning to sew and want to sew.
I am also thankful I didnt leave the giblets, or the neck in the turkey this year.
I am thankful for the internet and the ability read instructions.
I am thankful I am able to move forward, and leave the past and the negativity in the past.
I am thankful for sewing, and my patience to sit for LONG periods of time.
I am thankful that my dog likes beer.
Mac has problems 🙂
I forgot to mention I am thankful that I lived to be 27 years young. Heres to another 73 I hope…
I wanted to make this christmas tree skirt last year but didnt have enough time. I think November 8th is a good time to start planning for Christmas even though its raining here, which is unusual.
As the holidays are nearing I feel a sadness begin to overwhelm my soul.
I cant remember the last time that I spent a holiday with my mother…
I know I am an adult and I have my own family, and I shouldnt want her around as much… But considering the last Christmas that she spent with us was maybe 10 years ago or longer… I can probably count on my fingers the number of Christmas’s and Thanksgivings’s, birthday’s that she has spent with my brother, dad and myself and I am 26. Not a whole damn lot.
As a kid its saddening. I can remember crying myself to sleep some nights because of the unknowns. Why didnt she want to spend Christmas with us? Would she be at my birthday? Will she spend Thanksgiving with us? Year after year the same depressing feelings.
Now. I cant even stand to be in the same room with her. In and out of jail for reasons unknown. The moment she gets out of jail or the half-way house shes all smiles and hugs as if nothing happened. As if she didnt call me a bitch. Or threaten me. Or whatever she does. Nothing. Everything is sparkles and ponies. Bull. It sickens me to my stomach. How can a human being be so stupid? Shes a fucking idiot. Yes shes mother and blah blah blah. And shes sick. And has a disease. Yes. She is all those things but she is not trying. She thinks she can apologize for calling me a bitch and everything be fine without actually taking into consideration my feelings, and emotions. She must think, Oh I can just apologize, tell her I love her unconditionally and everything is kosher.
There is no room in my heart for my mother. Until she decides she wants help and wants to get better. Then maybe. Then maybe then I will make a spot for her but until then she is nothing to me.
No human being gets a pass for that kind of behavior. I mean give me a break shes in her mid 60s and has been a raging alcholic since I was like 4 years old. 22 years of homelessness, drunk, calling your daughter all names in the book that no child should ever have to hear. Sickening.
My holiday sadness is no more. After writing this and getting my blood boiling and getting myself irritated I dont have no sadness for her. She has played the victim card for 22 years. Go spend your holiday on the streets with a bottle of R & R.
The boys and dad got up went swimming. A and I slept in slightly. As I lay there in bed as my hubby was working out I began to start feeling guilty. So. I laid there for about 5 minutes and them jumped outta bed. A went to join the boys in the pool and I got up and ran. My lungs hated me and so did I. How could I allow myself to get so out of shape after unning the half marathon. Well. I got that run out of the way. Now I just need to keep up to speed.
After swimming. Breakfast. When it comes to meals its like pulling teeth and nails. Lets go here. Lets go here. Lets go here. No I dont like that. No I dont want that. No I dont like this. We already ate there. We dont like that place. We want this. Until.. the time comes when J or I decide where we are going to eat and then they remember a place that they ate before. Actually turns out to be good, and they have my best breakfast meal waffles with blueberries. We go thru our usual routine of how to act in the restaurant. No hollering. No screaming. Use your table manners. Dont fart. Dont burp. Yadda yadda yadda. And they of course always. Okay, we wont do that.
Breakfast is ordered. Then always we do our usual entertainment. Times tables for N. E and A are pretend writing on the table placements. Telephone. Write on the other persons back and have them guess. Then we eat. Eating is usually quiet and the kids are good. Its after the meals are eaten when shit hits the fan. N is constantly asking to go to the car. N & A are fighting. And E begins to fidget. Wander around. A she is 13, N hes 10 and E he is 8. The teenage mutant ninja turtle is 16 and at home taking care of Mac. Back to breakfast. A, N, and E aggravate dad and I so its time to go to the car. Dad takes them to the car, I take care of the table. Whew. Breakfast is done.
I like to keep the kids entertained and not watching television. So I create a scavenger hunt for them consisting of easy and difficult, almost hard to find things like a 4 leaf clover, or heart shaped rock. Its a little chilly outside but the kids can handle it. All three and thrilled and ready however when it comes time to finding the hard things like a heart shaped rock A backs down. But E and N are determined. E and dad take off up the hill in search of a 4 leaf clover dad convinces E to break apart a 3 leaf clover and show me. I fall for it for a minute… A is chilling no more searching for items. E and N team up in search of a 4 leaf clover. I have found only one of those in my lifetime so I know its difficult. Although, I have only attempted searching a couple times. So when they come running down the hill excited, happy and all smiles I know they have found the motherload. A four leaf clover. Good kids.
The last of the scavenger hunt is to race to the river… E beats N but we tell them its a tie. The winner gets a prize. We get the kids their prize its a sweet. If you know me and J we dont give the kids treats or soda. So we told them they had the choice of cupcakes or a cake their eyes lit up.
A nice walk to the store for their treats always turns into a 2 hour frenzy. Lets get this. Lets get that. I dont like that. I dont like this. E wants this. A wants this. And N doesnt like either. Its always fun going to the store no matter what. Since we dont see the kids that often they are always trying to jimmy gifts out of us. Rotten. Any-whoos they eventually decide. N gets a donut. E wants something but A doesnt want it so he gets something that makes her happy. What a good guy.
Dessert is served. All is happy. Kids are stuffed. At the store J got the kids sling shots. Their mother is going to love that, not… So. We get to the room. Clean up time. Clean up, everybody everywhere clean up clean up everybody do your share. Im sure you all remember that. Yes. We try and get the kids to all do their share. In the meantime J and I are also packing up. Its quiet. No one is questioning us every breaking second. Whew. Finally. Its a brief moment for us. Rooms cleaned. Dirty clothes are put away. Finally. Sling shots are sitting on the bed tempting the kids.
Kids. Go collect rocks for the sling shots. Kids run off and begin to collect rocks. Rocks are collected. We walk to the river and sling shot 101 training begins. A listened to J and picked the sling shot that was right. E and N want their own and later find out that they like A’s better. After about a bucket of rocks that were slinged and kids had fun the cold slinked in on us. We returned to the room and homework time began. Since the kids were in Disneyland earlier in the week and missed all week they were a little behind. E and N caught up in two days but A has a little more homework and still has a little to do tomorrow.
After homework. Boys go swimming, A and I go and get pedicures, go to the store and get hair dye and nail polish.
And then shit hits the fan. Dinner time. We get to dinner. Dinner is fine. Until the end.
N begins to start protesting, again… Im going home. Im going to go see my mom. We get to the car and N is ready. So like before E follows. Okay. Boys are going home, again. Today. We get to the hotel E and N come into the room and grab their stuff. A is pissed at them, and knows they are acting a fool. She tries to guilt trip them but its not working. Backfiring. I can tell E doesnt want to go but he is following suit. I push N out the door because he is clearly manipulating E. E still follows suit. Boys out the door. Fine. They have pulled this shit before.
In the meantime A and are dying her hair. Painting her nails. Enjoying the silence with Grown Ups. Shes loving the pamperness. And I love pampering her.
30 minutes later. J walks in with E and N. They slink in pissed off. Great. Not again.
30 more minutes of this bullshit continues. and Dad and I nip it in the butt. Over and done with. They are staying. Whew. finally. I have no more energy for this bullshit until N decides to argue and then the threatening begins. Time for bedtime. Its N’s fault. Kids are mad at N. Dont punish us. They are right. N cover your face the kids can watch the show.
25 minutes of tossing and turning. N replies No. I knew it.
I love these kids. They are rotten to the core. Threatening us every moment of everyday. But rotten and sweet. You make time. You make time for fun and time for discipline.
Welcome to the life of Sew Yupik 