Some Saturdays are not smooth sailing for this captain

Saturday morning started out beautifully.

The boys and dad got up went swimming. A and I slept in slightly. As I lay there in bed as my hubby was working out I began to start feeling guilty. So. I laid there for about 5 minutes and them jumped outta bed. A went to join the boys in the pool and I got up and ran. My lungs hated me and so did I. How could I allow myself to get so out of shape after unning the half marathon. Well. I got that run out of the way. Now I just need to keep up to speed.

After swimming. Breakfast. When it comes to meals its like pulling teeth and nails. Lets go here. Lets go here. Lets go here. No I dont like that. No I dont want that. No I dont like this. We already ate there. We dont like that place. We want this. Until.. the time comes when J or I decide where we are going to eat and then they remember a place that they ate before. Actually turns out to be good, and they have my best breakfast meal waffles with blueberries. We go thru our usual routine of how to act in the restaurant. No hollering. No screaming. Use your table manners. Dont fart. Dont burp. Yadda yadda yadda. And they of course always. Okay, we wont do that.

Breakfast is ordered. Then always we do our usual entertainment. Times tables for N. E and A are pretend writing on the table placements. Telephone. Write on the other persons back and have them guess. Then we eat. Eating is usually quiet and the kids are good. Its after the meals are eaten when shit hits the fan. N is constantly asking to go to the car. N & A are fighting. And E begins to fidget. Wander around. A she is 13, N hes 10 and E he is 8. The teenage mutant ninja turtle is 16 and at home taking care of Mac. Back to breakfast. A, N, and E aggravate dad and I so its time to go to the car. Dad takes them to the car, I take care of the table. Whew. Breakfast is done.

I like to keep the kids entertained and not watching television. So I create a scavenger hunt for them consisting of easy and difficult, almost hard to find things like a 4 leaf clover, or heart shaped rock. Its a little chilly outside but the kids can handle it. All three and thrilled and ready however when it comes time to finding the hard things like a heart shaped rock A backs down. But E and N are determined. E and dad take off up the hill in search of a 4 leaf clover dad convinces E to break apart a 3 leaf clover and show me. I fall for it for a minute… A is chilling no more searching for items. E and N team up in search of a 4 leaf clover. I have found only one of those in my lifetime so I know its difficult. Although, I have only attempted searching a couple times. So when they come running down the hill excited, happy and all smiles I know they have found the motherload. A four leaf clover. Good kids.

The last of the scavenger hunt is to race to the river… E beats N but we tell them its a tie. The winner gets a prize. We get the kids their prize its a sweet. If you know me and J we dont give the kids treats or soda. So we told them they had the choice of cupcakes or a cake their eyes lit up.

A nice walk to the store for their treats always turns into a 2 hour frenzy. Lets get this. Lets get that. I dont like that. I dont like this. E wants this. A wants this. And N doesnt like either. Its always fun going to the store no matter what. Since we dont see the kids that often they are always trying to jimmy gifts out of us. Rotten. Any-whoos they eventually decide. N gets a donut. E wants something but A doesnt want it so he gets something that makes her happy. What a good guy.

Dessert is served. All is happy. Kids are stuffed. At the store J got the kids sling shots. Their mother is going to love that, not… So. We get to the room. Clean up time. Clean up, everybody everywhere clean up clean up everybody do your share. Im sure you all remember that. Yes. We try and get the kids to all do their share. In the meantime J and I are also packing up. Its quiet. No one is questioning us every breaking second. Whew. Finally. Its a brief moment for us. Rooms cleaned. Dirty clothes are put away. Finally. Sling shots are sitting on the bed tempting the kids.

Kids. Go collect rocks for the sling shots. Kids run off and begin to collect rocks. Rocks are collected. We walk to the river and sling shot 101 training begins. A listened to J and picked the sling shot that was right. E and N want their own and later find out that they like A’s better. After about a bucket of rocks that were slinged and kids had fun the cold slinked in on us. We returned to the room and homework time began. Since the kids were in Disneyland earlier in the week and missed all week they were a little behind. E and N caught up in two days but A has a little more homework and still has a little to do tomorrow.

After homework. Boys go swimming, A and I go and get pedicures, go to the store and get hair dye and nail polish.

And then shit hits the fan. Dinner time. We get to dinner. Dinner is fine. Until the end.

N begins to start protesting, again… Im going home. Im going to go see my mom. We get to the car and N is ready. So like before E follows. Okay. Boys are going home, again. Today. We get to the hotel E and N come into the room and grab their stuff. A is pissed at them, and knows they are acting a fool. She tries to guilt trip them but its not working. Backfiring. I can tell E doesnt want to go but he is following suit. I push N out the door because he is clearly manipulating E. E still follows suit. Boys out the door. Fine. They have pulled this shit before.

In the meantime A and are dying her hair. Painting her nails. Enjoying the silence with Grown Ups. Shes loving the pamperness. And I love pampering her.

30 minutes later. J walks in with E and N. They slink in pissed off. Great. Not again.

30 more minutes of this bullshit continues. and Dad and I nip it in the butt. Over and done with. They are staying. Whew. finally. I have no more energy for this bullshit until N decides to argue and then the threatening begins. Time for bedtime. Its N’s fault. Kids are mad at N. Dont punish us. They are right. N cover your face the kids can watch the show.

25 minutes of tossing and turning. N replies No. I knew it.

I love these kids. They are rotten to the core. Threatening us every moment of everyday. But rotten and sweet. You make time. You make time for fun and time for discipline.

Thank god is Over.