Some Saturdays are not smooth sailing for this captain

Saturday morning started out beautifully.

The boys and dad got up went swimming. A and I slept in slightly. As I lay there in bed as my hubby was working out I began to start feeling guilty. So. I laid there for about 5 minutes and them jumped outta bed. A went to join the boys in the pool and I got up and ran. My lungs hated me and so did I. How could I allow myself to get so out of shape after unning the half marathon. Well. I got that run out of the way. Now I just need to keep up to speed.

After swimming. Breakfast. When it comes to meals its like pulling teeth and nails. Lets go here. Lets go here. Lets go here. No I dont like that. No I dont want that. No I dont like this. We already ate there. We dont like that place. We want this. Until.. the time comes when J or I decide where we are going to eat and then they remember a place that they ate before. Actually turns out to be good, and they have my best breakfast meal waffles with blueberries. We go thru our usual routine of how to act in the restaurant. No hollering. No screaming. Use your table manners. Dont fart. Dont burp. Yadda yadda yadda. And they of course always. Okay, we wont do that.

Breakfast is ordered. Then always we do our usual entertainment. Times tables for N. E and A are pretend writing on the table placements. Telephone. Write on the other persons back and have them guess. Then we eat. Eating is usually quiet and the kids are good. Its after the meals are eaten when shit hits the fan. N is constantly asking to go to the car. N & A are fighting. And E begins to fidget. Wander around. A she is 13, N hes 10 and E he is 8. The teenage mutant ninja turtle is 16 and at home taking care of Mac. Back to breakfast. A, N, and E aggravate dad and I so its time to go to the car. Dad takes them to the car, I take care of the table. Whew. Breakfast is done.

I like to keep the kids entertained and not watching television. So I create a scavenger hunt for them consisting of easy and difficult, almost hard to find things like a 4 leaf clover, or heart shaped rock. Its a little chilly outside but the kids can handle it. All three and thrilled and ready however when it comes time to finding the hard things like a heart shaped rock A backs down. But E and N are determined. E and dad take off up the hill in search of a 4 leaf clover dad convinces E to break apart a 3 leaf clover and show me. I fall for it for a minute… A is chilling no more searching for items. E and N team up in search of a 4 leaf clover. I have found only one of those in my lifetime so I know its difficult. Although, I have only attempted searching a couple times. So when they come running down the hill excited, happy and all smiles I know they have found the motherload. A four leaf clover. Good kids.

The last of the scavenger hunt is to race to the river… E beats N but we tell them its a tie. The winner gets a prize. We get the kids their prize its a sweet. If you know me and J we dont give the kids treats or soda. So we told them they had the choice of cupcakes or a cake their eyes lit up.

A nice walk to the store for their treats always turns into a 2 hour frenzy. Lets get this. Lets get that. I dont like that. I dont like this. E wants this. A wants this. And N doesnt like either. Its always fun going to the store no matter what. Since we dont see the kids that often they are always trying to jimmy gifts out of us. Rotten. Any-whoos they eventually decide. N gets a donut. E wants something but A doesnt want it so he gets something that makes her happy. What a good guy.

Dessert is served. All is happy. Kids are stuffed. At the store J got the kids sling shots. Their mother is going to love that, not… So. We get to the room. Clean up time. Clean up, everybody everywhere clean up clean up everybody do your share. Im sure you all remember that. Yes. We try and get the kids to all do their share. In the meantime J and I are also packing up. Its quiet. No one is questioning us every breaking second. Whew. Finally. Its a brief moment for us. Rooms cleaned. Dirty clothes are put away. Finally. Sling shots are sitting on the bed tempting the kids.

Kids. Go collect rocks for the sling shots. Kids run off and begin to collect rocks. Rocks are collected. We walk to the river and sling shot 101 training begins. A listened to J and picked the sling shot that was right. E and N want their own and later find out that they like A’s better. After about a bucket of rocks that were slinged and kids had fun the cold slinked in on us. We returned to the room and homework time began. Since the kids were in Disneyland earlier in the week and missed all week they were a little behind. E and N caught up in two days but A has a little more homework and still has a little to do tomorrow.

After homework. Boys go swimming, A and I go and get pedicures, go to the store and get hair dye and nail polish.

And then shit hits the fan. Dinner time. We get to dinner. Dinner is fine. Until the end.

N begins to start protesting, again… Im going home. Im going to go see my mom. We get to the car and N is ready. So like before E follows. Okay. Boys are going home, again. Today. We get to the hotel E and N come into the room and grab their stuff. A is pissed at them, and knows they are acting a fool. She tries to guilt trip them but its not working. Backfiring. I can tell E doesnt want to go but he is following suit. I push N out the door because he is clearly manipulating E. E still follows suit. Boys out the door. Fine. They have pulled this shit before.

In the meantime A and are dying her hair. Painting her nails. Enjoying the silence with Grown Ups. Shes loving the pamperness. And I love pampering her.

30 minutes later. J walks in with E and N. They slink in pissed off. Great. Not again.

30 more minutes of this bullshit continues. and Dad and I nip it in the butt. Over and done with. They are staying. Whew. finally. I have no more energy for this bullshit until N decides to argue and then the threatening begins. Time for bedtime. Its N’s fault. Kids are mad at N. Dont punish us. They are right. N cover your face the kids can watch the show.

25 minutes of tossing and turning. N replies No. I knew it.

I love these kids. They are rotten to the core. Threatening us every moment of everyday. But rotten and sweet. You make time. You make time for fun and time for discipline.

Sunrises=Pure Happiness in Bethel

Thank god is Over.

Storm before the calm

Therapy for my soul. Bethel sunset
Therapy for my soul. Bethel sunset

Nothing like a crazy Friday morning.

We got here Thursday morning and picked the kids up. We got out swimming in. Costumes created. And trick or treated until the boys were exhausted.

Then came evening time. “Your going to school tomorrow.” Cries, wails and tears were storming our tiny hotel room. After a few minutes of tears, tossing, and turning it was all snores and sheeps jumping over the fence.

Little did I know that it was going to be a stormy morning. A had school early before the boys and she was out the door with slight tears, and and all was well after fruit loops. A out the door with no problems. While my hubby was out with A at school I got up ate my breakfast and had my coffee before shit hit the fan.

7:30 am and a bomb went off in the tiny quarters. N got up with a slight fight but was immediately ready to get to breakfast. E had a complete meltdown mind you this was before the storm hit me like a wet towel across the face. I got E out of bed, dragged him out the door. Instead of following he silently protested in front of the door. So like the good step-mother that I am I carried him like a 2 year down to breakfast only for him to silently protest at the table. Fine. Dont eat breakfast. N ate his breakfast silently as he began to plot his big escape.

We see the kids 3-6 months because it costs us an arm and a leg. So when we do see them we try and get the most out of our visit. Their thinking since we dont see dad lets convince we dont have to go to school on Friday, even after we missed M-Thursday because they were in Disneyland. Plan failed, miserably. Friday was a mess. Not because they ate too much Halloween candy the night before. Because they had to go to school after being on vacation for the entire week. Big mistake.

Back to breakfast. E sits there whining, crying. N finishes his bowl, instead of throwing it away walks to another table and silently protests. In my attempt to get him to listen,” I dont want to have to spank you in front of all these people. Put your bowl away… Okay… We can wait here till you put it away…” After about a good 5 minutes N walks up, grabs his bowl and throws it away and immediately storms off in the direction of the room. In those good 5 minutes I had chompy mc-chomperson sitting next to me as she ate her food so the whole room could hear… Thats a big no no, one of my pet peeves eating your food like a cow. So that only added to my frustration. I get up and follow N, and E takes his sweet to follow me. Fine. Dont eat. Dont follow your loss.

Get to the room. N has his forehead pressed to the door. “N want me to open the door?” No response. “Okay we can wait here all morning or until dad gets back.” No response. At this point E is 5 doors down the hallway slithering down, taking his time. Silently protesting still. Okay N dont want to move so I decide to fart right in front of the door. N farts. E farts. All three of us are laughing at this point but then immediately they are back to their sour moods. Fine. Im not opening the door I dont want to smell my yucky fart. I give E the key to open the door. E puts his shirt over his nose and walks in, N follows and then me. N gets in the room, plops on his fold-away bed and immediately begins to kick, scream into the pillow and begins to cry. E following his older brother lays on the bed next to him and tries to formulate tears. And I am sitting here laughing at the huge theatrical performance my 2 step-sons are putting on for me.

Okay. Dont get dressed wait for dad. N still kicking and screaming. E still hiding behind the pillow still attempting to formulate tears. And here I am enjoying my hotel coffee which is not the best quality but better than nothing.

Dad walks in. I give him the scoop. He raises his voice and scares them with spanks and boys are moving and getting dressed. “Boys want a lunchable to bring to school?” N answers angerily, “No,” and then follows E with the same response. Fine. I understand you dont want lunchables because I paid for them and got them for you the night before at your request.

“Im not going to school,” N protests. E follows without words but body language. In the meantime dad is using the boys room and N throws on his hat and attempts to escape out the front door. Afraid he is going to get stuck outside in the cold at 8 am I grab him and bring in the middle of the room. Upset he goes and sits besides the bed on the floor and continues to silently protest. E follows. Mind you E doesnt usually act like this but because his brother is why not follow.

Dad still in the bathroom. N begins to plan his escape, again… Ugh. Fine. I can play this game too. Fakes right, fakes left, jumps on the bed. I let him get ahead and then grab him. At this point I am holding his arm and his leg against the bed requesting that he please stop he is only making a fool of himself. He complies and returns to his nesting spot.

Dad gets out of the bathroom asks me if I am taking them. “No I am not taking them after the fun morning. We can go together.”

“N & E want a lunchable?” No response, only angered disgusted looks. “Fine.”

Finally 8:30 we are out the door. That was a fun 30 minutes for me. Drive to school. N claims he is going to his mothers after school. E will follow.

Only. School gets done and the boys are find and dandy… I wait at the hotel room because A, dad and I wanted to trick the boys into thinking I got rid of all their halloween candy because the way they were acting in the morning. I set up the video camera and all.

The boys enter. Halloween candy bags that I made for them are laying empty on the bed. The boys come in. Dad asks them what they are supposed to say. They both apologize for the fun morning the three of us all shared. Then the trick begins.

I reply, “Oh sheeh. Now I feel bad I got rid of all your halloween candy because I didnt feel like you deserved them.”

Silence. N goes to the bathroom. E just sits on the floor. No reply. No answer. Go get your bags and fold them up and set them aside. I ask, “E are you mad at me?” “No, its okay.” Although I can tell hes upset with me. And N gets out and it looks like he is about to wrestle somebody into submission. No response.

We let this go on for about 10 minutes because the attitudes were again sour. My husband looks at me and mouths he cant handle it. I cant handle it either because they are too sour to the bone. So we tell them and E immediately smiles, and N still looks like he wants to choke me. This goes on for about 5 minutes and then finally a smile is cracked.

The school ride was silence. N says he wants to go see his mom. His mom is nicer and he can convince her that he doesnt have to go to school. E is pissy face the whole time through all this. The boys get to school I say my good byes. All I get back is sour faces and scowls. I know this isnt the last time that I am going to see them.

Schools out. They get to the hotel room. Both have these shy smiles on their face, I can see in their eyes they feel bad. They both apologize. And the day goes on as if nothing happened. Kids for you. I tell you they drive you crazy but you cant live without them.

Nobody said parenthood was easy and nobody said being a step-parent was easy either. As much as I wanted to spank the boys Friday morning, or actually throw their candy away I held back because I dont want them to remember me that way. I am hard on them in my own ways but I love them as if they are my own.

Friday was done and over with. We ended the evening with Enders Game. My husband and I dont believe in spending thousand of dollars on snacks and soda. So we bring in the kids bags of halloween candy, and bottles of water. Nothing like spending $35 on a movie for 3 kid and 2 adults. Cha-ching! Ultimate save!

Whew. Boy, am I glad Friday is over and done with. That was definately one for the bag to always remember.

Love these damn kids. Oh Happy Days.