Choose to be Happy

Today, and everyday I choose to be happy.

I refuse to allow anyone’s negativity affect my life in anyway. No more. I wont do it.

Growing up with an abusive alcoholic mother was horrible. Ridiculous. Awful. Sickening. Devastating. Depressing. & Humiliating.

Everyday is still a struggle. But I choose to put a smile on my face, and put one foot in front of the other.

Moving away from home was the best thing for my recovery. Recovery from an abusive, horrible, awful mother who was verbally abusive for the last 20+ years.

I am an adult child of an alcoholic parent. On the inside I am hurting. Hurting a lot. But it gets better as each day passes. I am getting better, or trying to get better.

I am comfortable in telling my story. I don’t break down in tears anymore. And I can laugh about, even if its not funny. Humor is a good thing and I chuckle to myself thinking it hasn’t been an easy road to get where I am today.

I am thankful that I can share my story. Because growing up with a parent who constantly called you a fucking cunt, or a bitch. Or tell you to go spread your legs so other men can fuck you isn’t normal. And its not right. And just because she was in an alcoholic state doesn’t give her an excuse.

Alcoholism is an addiction. Yes. But name-calling isn’t an addiction. It is a choice one makes. And let me tell you from experience those words will never go away. Never. Those words will forever be ingrained my in mind, and I have never been able to forget them. Sometimes I can just hear them echoing in my mind and it makes me sick to my stomach.

I can remember the first time my mom started calling me all those awful names that your parents tell you not to say. I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked. How? I was only a little girl. Why? Why me? I didn’t understand. And then it never stopped the name calling just got worse. And I got used to it. Until I got bigger and started sticking up for myself.

I deal with my mother the best way that I know. And I wholeheartedly choose to separate myself from her. It is my choice and not anyone else’s. Please don’t tell me how you think I should deal with it. Because if you haven’t been in my situation, or a similar situation where your mother was screaming obscenities at you, and trying to fight you then you don’t know what its like.

I am learning how deal. So please just allow me to deal with it the best possible way I know how. I am doing my best.

I choose to be happy.

Do you?

October as a busy bee

Another busy bee.

Who says 13 credits, full time job, part time job, teenager, husband, pupper-do and sewing wasnt possible?

I guess you can say I like to stay busy as a bee, and do a very good job of that.

We are half-way thru October, which is insane! Where has summer gone? Where has fall gone?

As winter nears I get excited but sad because of how quickly time passes us, and sometimes I dont stop to enjoy the moments.

I enjoy what I do.

I enjoy my full time job.

My part time job working with the political frenzy is coming to an end. Only 12 more days and then the big boom of rush to the polls. So vote early, and just flat right vote.

And I love sewing. I love when winter nears because that means it times to bust out the fur and get fuzzy.

If I could just sew and go to school I dont know if that would be busy enough for me hence the two other jobs and all the other hats at home.

BUT enough rambling.

Heres the latest and greatest and I should have more projects to share before the end of the year!

Enjoy!

another boys qaspeq
Boys size 10 simple qaspeq
bags in the making
More bags in the making! I love these colors and how well they mesh.
boys qaspeq
Another one of my favorite boys size 10 qaspeq.
cup cozies
I SAVE all my scraps and they come in handy when I whipped out these cup cozies.
halloween bags
More kids Halloween trick or treat bags because they were a hit the first time, I had to whip them out a second time.
grass basket collecting
Lets hope that these make some amazing grass baskets. I dont know how to make them yet but I am willing to learn and this is the first step collecting and drying it. I will post a proper photo of how to dry them because there is a specific way.
moose tops
My latest and greatest project moose beaded slipper tops. Beading isnt one of my strong areas but I am hoping to get better as I continue to bead.
Halloween Trick or Treat Bags
More Halloween trick or treat bags different style

Do what makes you happy. 

Do it often and with joy because life is all about being happy and finding joy in the little things such as sewing or beading.